we commute

The Last Catch: The BP Oil Leak One Month Later

2010-05-26T14:39:00.002-05:00

The Last Catch

May 24, 2010
By Ilka de Laat

Venice, LA – When charter boat captain Allan Welch leaves Venice Marina in Plaquemines Parish, Louisiana on Wednesday, he will not be guiding his regular customers to catch Redfish: Plaquemines Parish is under a fishing ban. Instead, Welch will be escorting a British Petroleum taskforce to an oil clean-up site.
Though the oil gushing from the BP Deepwater Horizon leak has been ongoing for over a month, the impact of the disaster is just now starting to be felt along the southern Louisiana coastline. Fishermen can’t begin to guess what the long-term impact to their livelihoods might be, while emergency bird rescue centres have been standing at the ready for two weeks. Only now are they expecting an onslaught of affected birds as the oil slowly starts to accumulate along the fragile marshlands.
The destination of the oil as it journeys through the Gulf of Mexico remains a mystery. The Exxon Valdez spill, previously the largest oil disaster, was contained to the water’s surface, remained in a finite geographical area, and washed up on a rocky shore. The BP oil leak is already proving near-impossible to contain and collect as much of the oil remains trapped between the fresh water of the Mississippi River and the salt water of the Gulf. Clashing currents and chemical dispersant further prevent the oil from gathering obediently at the water’s surface. One charter boat captain who took divers out to the oil said they that they dove through a 25-foot deep oil patch found just below the water’s surface during a dive on May 23rd.
Dispersants are pumped at the source of the leak as well as sprayed from airplanes, but are really only effective on fresh oil. Jay Holcomb, Director of the International Bird Research and Rescue Center says dispersants can be as toxic as the oil itself and affects the feathers equally.
The Environmental Protection Agency has demanded that BP reduce overhead deployment of the current dispersant Corexit and find a less-toxic alternative by May 25th. BP has countered that the only other federally approved dispersant currently available contains an endocrine-disruptor. This discussion heats up alongside another between the EPA and Plaquemines Parish President Billy Nungesser who confronted EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson on May 24th and said they are not doing enough or moving fast enough to protect the fragile marshlands.
Meanwhile, Captain Welch laments that the reeds are already dying. “My 8th grade science fair project was on coastal erosion. We were losing a football field of land then, we’re still losing a football field of land every fifteen minutes now. Then we get this…” he motions to the oil-stained reeds, “it will never come back.”
Charter boat captains are being forced to exchange fishing for BP clean-up contracts to replace income lost, ironically, to the BP leak itself. This is far from an ideal situation, but BP pays twice the going charter rate, and with the fisheries closed for an indeterminate period of time, Captain Welch will accept the income while and when he can.
“These are proud people, these are fishermen,” says Nungesser. There is talk that BP may financially compensate the fishermen for the loss of their livelihood. But as Nungesser awaits BP to announce a compensation plan, he expresses his deep concern. “It doesn’t look like our industry is going to be what it used to be for many years to come.”

SEE JOSEPH WENKOFF'S PHOTO ESSAY here. Click on "Essay" then on "The Last Catch."

Our Kid's Library

2010-03-17T13:58:00.002-05:00

I haven't written at all I see since we found out we were pregnant in December! Since then, I've been busy growing a human. How weird is that?!

I'm in my 19th week of pregnancy now (that's about halfway through) and I've just started to feel little wee kicks. So naturally I am beginning to believe for once and for all that I am going to be a mother. It's been very cool and exciting in a dreamy, theoritical kind of way, thinking about motherhood - until now. Now that I'm being literally kicked into reality, I've started to think about the plethora of "accoutrements" that a baby needs.

Blankets and other sundry nursery items aside, I have pleasantly come to the conclusion that collecting books for our kid's library is my favourite hobby the past two days. In order to keep myself on track I've put together a list of an "ideal kid's library."

In this list are some cherished personal favourites (like "The Paper Bag Princess" and "Winnie the Pooh"), some titles I've been waiting to read (like "Where the Sidewalk Ends"), and some titles I've never heard before (like "Five Little Peppers and How They Grew.")

But I have this nagging feeling that I am missing some obvious selections.

What books were your beloved? Which do you plan to read to your children? Which of these titles do you recommend and which titles am I missing? I'm dying to know.

Here's my list. The starred titles are books I've already collected. Sigh. I've got a long ways of collecting to go!

Our Kid’s Ideal Library

For The First Years

A Bear Called Paddington by Michael Bond
Aesop’s Fables by Russel Ash
Alexander & the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
Alligator Pie by Dennis Lee
Amelia Bedelia by Peggy Parish
Berenstein Bear series by Stan & Jan Berenstain
Blueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskey
Clifford the Big Red Dog by Norman Bridwell
Curious George series by H. A. Rey
Eloise by Kay Thompson
Five Little Peppers and How They Grew by Margaret Sidney
Good Dog, Carl by Alexandra Day
Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
*Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
*Guess How Much I Love You? by Sam McBratney
Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Numeroff
*Love You Forever by Robert Munsch
Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans
Make Way For Ducklings by Robert McCloskey
Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel by Virginia Lee Burton
Mr. Men and Little Miss books by Roger Hargreaves
Mr. Popper's Penguins by Richard and Florence Atwater
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss
Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch
*Pat the Bunny by Dorothy Kunhardt
Richard Scarry’s Best Storybook Ever by Richard Scarry
The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss
The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper
The Lorax by Dr. Seuss
The Owl and the Pussycat by Edward Lear
The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown
The Story of Babar by Jean de Brunhoff
*The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf
The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter
The Trumpet of the Swan by E. B. White
The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
*Where’s Spot? By Eric Hill
Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
Where The Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
Winnie the Pooh series by A Milne

For A Bit Older

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
Grimm’s Fairy Tales by the brother’s Grimm
Hans Christian Andersen Tales
Little House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh, The Places You’ll Go! by Dr. Seuss
The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew mysteries
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
The Twits by Roald Dahl

Happy Holidays and Best Wishes for 2010!

2009-12-23T11:06:00.001-05:00

Make a Smilebox greeting

Machinarium Dreams

2009-12-13T18:12:00.005-05:00

I am not one to be drawn into computer games. Admittedly, I was (and will always be) a Tetris addict, but that game was only a salve to my anxious tendencies. Playing it, I always felt the same tension in my stomach that I feel when I bite my nails. Not a healthy past-time, really.

I remember decades ago when Super Mario Brothers came out. That's when I knew I wasn't a game-gal. I couldn't manage to keep the little guy alive. Later, Spider Man took over the free time and attention of several of my friends to the point that I began to follow a self-imposed rule: don't date a guy who plays video games.

And so, it came as a huge surprise when I read a review about a video game in the Toronto Star newspaper last month and promptly went online to try out the demo.

I was smitten.

Machinarium, from Amanita Designs, is the story of a little robot that you control as he wanders through an adventure in a mythical dystopian, yet poetic landscape. Only Czech developers could come up with such a romantic vaguely medieval yet seemingly futuristic world. Actually, now that I think about it, it has the flavour of the run-down, post-Communist Europe of a few decades ago.

Neither the little robot or any of the other characters that he encounters speaks - they communicate through grunts and thought-bubbles. Actions are classic point-and-click, and without any written instructions players are meant to learn where the little robot is meant to go and what he is meant to accomplish. In this sense, when you play the game, you may as well be traveling in a foreign country where you don't know the language. And that is certainly part of the fun.

My partner and I play the game together on the couch on our laptop. We take turns at the control and are constantly suggesting to one another possible moves. It is, I think, a joy to discover that we do not bicker with each other when we disagree with the little robot's intentions and actions.

My father has been playing the game for about a week longer than us and my mother says it became the main activity in his life for a week after I bought the game for him as a gift. I wonder which room he is in now...

A couple of nights I have dreamt that I lived in the world of Machinarium. The music and sounds rounding out the experience. I have no idea where the little robot is going - and my dreams gave me no clues - but I look forward to learning more when my partner and I pick it up next.

A Self-Fullfilling Spiral Into Irrelevance

2009-11-13T11:40:00.002-05:00

"A self-fullfilling spiral into irrelevance" is how Linden MacIntyre eloquently speaks of current media & journalism trends, and also laments the state of the nation at the CBC.

His muted yet passionate, and thoroughly literate rumniations on journalism bubble to the surface during an interview with Anna Maria Tremonti on CBC Radio's The Current. He was being interviewed for winning the Giller Prize for literature for his book "The Bishop's Man" which chronicles the emerging crisis of conscience in a worldly priest (click here for more on the book and the prize.)

MacIntyre is a journalist at CBC's "The Fifth Estate." All the more reason to listen to his thoughts on the state of media today. (Click on Pt 2 from November 12th for the full interview.)

TED Talks that Speak to Me

2009-07-16T15:08:00.005-05:00

Slow day here at the office. While the bosses are watching rough cuts in Vancouver, I am searching the internet for great documentary ideas back here in Toronto.

When I am seeking inspiration, I find a reliable source to be the TED Talks, so neatly arranged in a browser-friendly way on their website.

If you haven't heard of TED, I have swiped this brief paragraph from their site: TED is a small nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader - to include Science and Global Issues.

TED has grown into an international conference, a philanthropist fund, a free translation service and a fellowship program.

It's popularity has begun to soar via social network interfaces such as Facebook and Twitter where members can easily watch, share and rate the videos.

I admit, I get mighty sucked into the TED talks. Partially because many of the subjects are so exciting (the Cassini spacecraft landed - yes LANDED - on Titan - Saturn's moon! And few of know because the media failed to recognize this incredible achievement.) But more so, I find that the individuals who bring us the subjects the talks are often more inspirational than their subjects.

Daniel Liebeskind - architect of the Royal Ontario Museum's "Crystal" I can do without. His talk - 17 Words About Architectural Inspiration - feels more like 17000 words that wheeze and squeak out of his mouth like a balloon the mouth of which is pulled taut. I am one of the few who like the Crystal, and I'll amusedly watch Daniel windbag for a minute (if you find him an interesting character, keep an eye out for the CBC/90th Parallel documentary The Museum.)

But Jill Bolte Taylor, well she simply took my breath away with her lucid description of experiencing a stroke - and simultaneously - nirvana.

Here are quick links to those ideas I think are worth spreading:

- Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain researcher, experienced a massive stroke. In this talk, she recounts the psychic, physical and spiritual experiences leading up to that day, during the stroke and after her recovery. These insights have transformed her life and she invites us to transform ours - in Stroke of Insight. *****

- Kerry Mullis, the unconventional Nobel laureate chemist, explains in Next-gen Cure for Killer Infections how he would slap a non-human molecule "on to a bacteria that was pathenogenic to me that just invaded my lungs [like staph and anthrax]. I could immediately tap into an immune system that was there, it was not going to take five or six days to develop it, it was immediately going to attack." Well, you get the idea. *****

- Gever Tully founded the Tinkering School where children get to play with sticks and sharp tools and make roller coasters - activities helicopter parents shudder at. But as we increase "safety" boundaries, we decrease kids' oppertunities to interact with the world around them. 5 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Kids Do actually promotes safety. ***

- Jacqueline Novogratz thinks poverty is a combination of variables that include lack of income, but also lack of choice and lack of freedom. The choice part is interesting - when combined with a micro-loan it can transform lives dramatically. Escaping Poverty describes one single mother's experience rising out of the worst slum in Nairobi. ****

- Elizabeth Gilbert, best-selling author of "Eat, Pray, Love", allows for vulnerability again by expressing her fears and doubts surrounding a follow-up to the book and discovers that instead of "being" genius, we "are" genius." I enjoyed this talk On Genius and creativity and have already shared it widely. *****

- Ken Robinson also speaks about the visionary in all of us in Schools Kill Creativity. His tone is light and humourous and thoroughly enjoyable though more anecdotal than factual. Perhaps he is healing from the British social hierarchy since he moved to the U.S.? ****

- Carolyn Porco Flies Us to Saturn and talks about a stunning and successful international effort to send a spacecraft to Saturn to not only collect jaw-dropping images, but land - yes LAND - on the planet's moon, Titan. Why didn't the world celebrate this monumental event? ****

The Uniform Project

2009-07-03T13:22:00.006-05:00

Sheena Matheiken grew up in India and wore a uniform to school every day. Now she is wearing a uniform again every day (she has 7 identical copies and will wear this dress for 365 days) as an exercise in sustainable fashion. She's also challenging her accessorization skills - she's fantastic at it.

Sheena is simultaneously raising funds to cover educational expenses for slum children in India by supporting a revolutionary educational program called The Ankanksha Foundation, a non-profit organization with the vision to one day equip all students with the education, skills and character they need to lead empowered lives. For more on Ankanksha, click here.

To see Sheena's amazing dress in action (I am already querying the designer to make my own) watch this fun video produced by Daily Candy.

Dutch Seen: New York Rediscovered Slide-Show

2009-06-18T13:12:00.006-05:00

Being Dutch Canadian, and being surrounded by photographers (my sister, my partner, and several of my closest friends make their livelihoods and satiate their creative passions through the lens), I found this photo slide show in the New York Times Magazine particularly endearing.

The photographs mimic the paintings of the Dutch Masters (think Vermeer and Rembrant) and celebrate the 400th anniversary of the Dutch claim to New Netherland - with its capital of New Amsterdam — on the wilderness island of Manhattan.

The slide show displays highlights from the exhibit “Dutch Seen: New York Rediscovered,” which runs to Sept. 13 at the Museum of the City of New York. The exhibit is a collaboration with Foam, the photography museum in Amsterdam, and is curated by Kathy Ryan, photo editor of The New York Times Magazine.

Reminder: we have a NYC basement apartment in the East Village for rent later in the summer if you are planning on spending some time in that city...

Slumdog Millionaire Blues

2009-05-21T14:53:00.004-05:00

I knew I was going to have a difficult time enjoying Slumdog Millionaire. I avoided it until everyone in the world saw it. Finally I watched it and found it somewhat enjoyable - but not oscar-worthy. It was a frothy production. Not the kind of slum realism that City of God evoked. What I disliked the most was the false sense of philanthropy it produced in everyone and the accolades the producers received for creating that sense of philanthropy.

Now two of the child stars have had their slum-homes bulldozed despite producers promises to get those kids out of the slums... I wasn't surprised. As my friend Greg put it, "I love the irony of this story, it underscores my cynical view of the hollywood hype machine."

Hey, I don't want to be a Debbie-Downer... I want to live in la-la land just like everyone else. It's a super gorgeous, hot cloudless day out - I'm off to buy a child-labour Made in India cotton sun-dress and enjoy the rest of my afternoon... sigh.

(If you were somewhat annoyed by the gushing success of Slumdog Millionaire, you may enjoy this spoof.)

Update June 10, 2009:
I am happy and relieved to read this new development, that a home has been secured for one of the child stars and a second home will be purchased for the other child star:
http://www.salon.com/wires/ap/entertainment/2009/06/10/D98NOVTG0_as_india_slumdog/

Photojournalists & Documentary Filmmakers in Contrast

2009-05-10T18:33:00.003-05:00

You might think that they are the same people: photojournalists and documentary filmmakers both use images to uncover and tell the human experience. But they are not the same. Just as German Shepherds differ from Bloodhounds – they may be the same species, but they ain’t the same breed.

After five days of bouncing between films and panel discussions at Hot Docs, my butt landed at a CONTACT interactive photo exhibit led by Magnum photographers. Just looking around the room, the differences between the two breeds began to contrast in my mind.

First of all, the location of the Magnum event was the Drake Underground – the basement event space at Toronto’s uber-hip and boutique Drake Hotel. Conversely, the location of the Hot Docs industry events were held at the Harry Potter-like antiquated buildings of the University of Toronto’s Victoria College. The chow of one dog was steak frites. the tender vittles of the other a greasy shawarma.

I was tired when I sat down. I was happy to have a pint of beer in my hand and sipping I thought: “this is the way to watch a screening.” The lights were dim and soft music played. As with Hot Docs audience, there was a buzz of excitement from the crowd. Here going to speak and exhibit were some of the world’s best photographers. Like a Hot Docs screening, every last seat was taken, and some agreed to standing room only.

As I sat there, waiting for my partner to arrive, I looked around me. What makes these two breeds different? Don’t they essentially work on the same material? For instance: kids as young as nine escaping Honduras by train to get to the United States for a “better” life; Haitians escaping their tumultuous nation by leaky home-made boat also aiming for a better life in the U.S. Who documented what? And would if matter if I told you? They do the same work I tell you.

But boy do they look and act different.

Photographers dress mainly in black. Their style is minimalist and functional but they exhibit something punk-rock – a leather cuff bracelet, heavy black boots, a stylish haircut. Documentary filmmakers’ garb is made up of one-of-a-kinds – at least the women. The men are just about the most un-sexiest bunch of professors and rumpled geeks you have ever seen. Photographers strike me as arrogant, selfish and pig-headed. Documentary makers are unfailingly socially-minded – but sometimes cross the line into self-righteousness. Ultimately, though, both are compassionate types prone to bluster because of the injustices in the world that provoke them so deeply they cannot live without recording them.

I can say this because I live and work with both of these breeds (my partner is on the Gardiner Expressway covering a major Tamil protest as I write.) They are part of my day-in-day-out. But of course, these are my own observations and I feel a little guilty to assume as I watch the slide shows and listen to the commentary. What finally confirms my conjectures is the photographers’ commentary: each of them (Peter Marlow, Christopher Anderson and David Allen Harvey) said “I do these stories to understand them for myself.” Which is intrinsically different than the documentary filmmaker, whose constant focus is getting the message out to the masses.

I’m not saying that their sentiments and approaches aren’t shared – I am certain that they are – but there are marked differences between the two and I think I have figured it out: both are harbingers yet one is a maverick while the other is a pilot.

A Lame Shopping Experience in Toronto

2009-04-24T15:13:00.002-05:00

At first I thought I was missing out - some (unkown-to-me) fashion designer Matthew Williamson partnered up with H&M and there was an grand opening at the Eaton Centre... people lined up since 4am to buy. What happened was a mindless grab-anything frenzy and demonstrated yet again that people who blindly follow trends do NOT have style.

Gitel Salle 1024

2009-04-15T14:53:00.011-05:00

Why has it taken me this long to promote my aunt and uncle's gorgeous Gitel in the Belgian Ardennes? Especially since I helped my father translate their website last year?

Maybe it's because I would love to visit the place... but it's uniquely designed for a group. This makes my head spin with ideas - an anniversary party? A retirement party? A girls-reunion?

The facilities are state of the art, fully "wired" for meetings....

... down duvets for comfy sleeps...

... fresh towels...

... healthy fresh air...

... and outdoor barbeque facilities (visit the website for more infomation about rates and activities.)

It's enough to get me dreaming up any excuse to get me and a group out to the lovely Belgian Ardennes!

Collecting My Thoughts in a Moleskine

2009-03-25T15:06:00.008-05:00

Readying for work today I was an anxious mess - first of all, I had just had an epiphany about the relationship with my partner - a huge, huge enlightenment into his character and my understanding of it. A joyous moment. Love. I had started to write notes in my script workbook and then realized I was late for work. Again. So I put down my notebook mid-thought. Painful

Anyway. Also running through my mind was this morning's CBC staff and programming cuts "town hall meeting" that would be led by president and CEO Hubert Lacroix on closed-circuit TV to all CBC staff at 11:45 am. Ominous cloud.

Beyond that, it came to me that it might be useful to finally read that book on Jungian literary theory that I had picked up at a second-hand bookstore in Picton two years ago. That it may help me understand the motivation of my characters in the screenplay that I am writing. One of my fellow screenwriting group members, a Canadian Film Centre grad, confided that she was reading books on psychology for exactly that reason.

Once in the CBC building, I saw notices on the bulletin board about tax returns. Is it really that time of year?? *#$^%balls!

Which reminded me that I'd better check and see if I had any overdue bills to pay. Which reminded me that I should also add and remove some people to/from my Rogers My-5 plan. Which reminded me that I am supposed to buy a new SIM card so that I can switch from my Razr to Joe's old iPhone... ...

By the time I sat at my desk the only thing I could think of was: I need to ask Joe to give me one of those slim little Moleskine notebooks that my mother gave him for Christmas. And what do I do out of habit? I Google "Hemingway's notebook" (because I couldn't remember the word "Moleskine") and come across this INCREDIBLE blog about Moleskine notebooks!!

Now if only I had that notebook... I'm sure I forgot as many important things as I managed to get down in this blog post!

(image via Palin's Travels.)

Bill Cunningham Is One of My Faves

2009-03-17T11:40:00.005-05:00

I just adore visiting Bill Cunningham's "On The Street" NYC slide shows. I love the street fashion, I love the women and men he captures, I love the joy in his soft, squeak-gravelly voice. According to Lauren Collins in a recent New Yorker magazine article, Cunningham's "vocabulary and diction are those of a more genteel era, but his sensibility is exhilaratingly democratic."

I visit Bill's slide-shows every week, and when I miss him, I visit the archives because his slide shows guarantee to bring colour and fun into a day.

What's particularly deliciuos about Bill is that he manages to capture the humanity behind our decisions to wear what we wear. This slide-show is one of my faves, how we cope with massive slush puddles in winter - and how we cope with it in style and as Bill says, "with animation and dance." Boy am I glad those slush puddles are done for the season!

(image via The New York Times http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2009/01/31/fashion/20090131-street-feature/index.html)

Loving This Springtime Outfit

2009-03-06T13:38:00.003-05:00

Yes, yes, it's Paris not Toronto, and it's a brunette, not me, but I LOVE this springtime outfit so much it makes me ache. It's so casual, so fresh and fun!

Elizabeth Gilbert Rescues Me Again

2009-03-05T14:21:00.005-05:00

To my sister friends,

I tell you (well, some of you already know) I've been going through some big time growing pains lately and wow, wouldn't you know it, Elizabeth Gilbert shows up in my life exactly when I need her - again!

Last year, I picked up Eat, Pray, Love and devoured it - just as I know you will, or already have. The thing is, I needed that book. I had ended yet another lame, toxic and hurtful relationship and I needed to believe that I was good. On my own. On my own terms. And that my terms were good. That kind of good. I needed to be taught that a woman is forgivable for making mistakes, for loving wrong, and getting lost in loving wrong. But what I really needed to learn is that women are allowed and are required to devote loads and loads of time and creative energy loving ....

... ourselves.

Our lives are full of creativity. And those of us who chose to live creative lives put a lot of our selves on the line every day. A creative life isn't only lived by those few people who make money from art, but those of us who quest and question, who seek and find, who celebrate the small wonders and dare to risk venturing into the unknown. Us creative types, we infuse every action of our days with art. Even our relationships are artistic endeavours - we nurture them and watch them grow and feel such pain and loss when they dry up and fail to thrive.

International Women's Day is a day for celebrating women around the world and our achievements. But I would like to think that it's also a day for celebrating the poet, the chef, the singer and dancer in each of us.

I know my greatest weakness in life: it is that I lack faith in my own success. I doubt the validity and value of my creative life. And just as I have awoken from yet another bad dream this morning, a dream filled with questions that remain so frustratingly unanswered, Elizabeth Gilbert pops into my life again. Today she reminds me, and I hope that she reminds you, that on our artistic journeys through life, we are each and every one of us a vessel for artistic success beyond our comprehension. And that when we do fail (and we do, and we will) we do not have to burden the responsibility alone.

This International Women's Day, please listen to and pass this around: Elizabeth's wonderfully funny, uplifting and inspirational speech about nurturing creativity.

How I Managed to Enjoy a Play About Books I Haven't Read

2009-03-04T14:59:00.015-05:00

Last night I was gifted a ticket to Travesties, written by Tom Stoppard and produced by the talented Soulpepper theatre troupe in Toronto. I am not much of a theatre fan, but I do tend to enjoy the plays of the literary hard-hitting kind - those of Stoppard, Edward Albee, Tennessee Williams, Arthur Millar, Eugene O'Neill, and David Mamet. I suppose though, upon reflecting on that list, that I have come to these playwrights via the screen (A Streetcar Named Desire and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? are among my favourite films.)

But I digress (as usual.)

Here's the jist of Travesties courtesy of the Soulpepper website:
Three prominent revolutionaries of 20th century art and politics — James Joyce, Vladimir Lenin and Tristan Tzara — come together in the mixed-up memories of a British consular official who blends history, literature and echoes of Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest. An intoxicating comedy of ideas, Travesties is widely considered to be Stoppard’s most ingenious masterpiece.

Jeez Louise! I have a degree in English Literature and I felt like I needed to read a Coles Notes primer before stepping into the theatre... I had only tried to read Joyce's Ulysses, never craked The Importance of Being Earnest and had no clue as to what Tzara's Dadaism was. Alas, I didn't have time to even scope out the Wikipedia entry on the play!

But I liked the play very much regardless and found myself laughing at times, though I was also left listening to a laughing audience at others.

Which reminded me of this book I haven't yet read but want to, and will pretend that I am knowledgeable about: "How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read." I wish I had read how to talk about books I haven't read so that I could watch a play about books I haven't read and pretend to understand it so that I could talk about it (and the books it was about) after I'd watched it!

Then today, I saw that a friend on Facebook had posted the BBC Top 100 Books list. She had read 26 of them. I sighed before taking a look at the list myself - after last night I wondered why I ever took a degree in English! Thankfully, I've read (or partially read and can therefore talk about) 33 of them. And I plan to read (or partially read) 33 more - to keep the conversation going!

Here's the list if you're interested in determining your own literary chops!

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien x
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen x
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling x
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee x
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne x
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë x
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë x
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier x
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger x
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens x
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell x
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling x
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling x
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling x
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien x
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot x
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving x
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck x
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll x
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl x
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen x
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery x
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald x
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy x
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck x
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens x
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough x
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles x
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding x
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding x
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce x
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac x
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie x

What I Did On My Facebook Vacation!

2009-02-25T15:42:00.004-05:00

Father, it’s been six weeks since my last Facebook. And here I am back in the confession booth.

Naw, it’s not a sin or anything, it had simply become an aimless obsession that sucked too much of my time – time that I had forgotten was valuable.

A vacation from Facebook is what I needed to re-direct my energies. Unfortunately, I didn’t visit the tropics, but I did accomplish a few things and took a new journey in my mind.

About a week after quitting Fb I found that that chunk of free time was indeed mine again. It felt like extra cash, like a little lotto influx and I wanted to spend it! - but spend it wisely.

So I decided to pick up where I left off with my Certificate in Magazine Publishing from Ryerson University. I’d dropped out when I got hired at the CBC, but did a little poking and discovered that I have another year or so to complete the program (a relief since I am more than half-way through and have spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours on this program.)

The course I selected was by default – the only course offered for Winter 2009: Creating Website Editorial. I never imagined that I would be interested in creating websites – but oddly, I am! Since then I have received an “A” in that course and have re-vamped this old blog and created a new blog called I Heart Docs dedicated to documentary films and television and have been encouraged by several industry folks. It’s been a lot of fun!

I’ve also started to take over the social networking side of CBC Documentaries. According to my teacher at Ryerson, Social Media Managers and Producers are the next wave in cool media jobs – and I’m already on board (you can check out some of my CBC work on Twitter.)

Oddly, that means I HAVE to become a Facebook professional!!!!! So you’ll be seeing a lot more of my face again for better or worse. And I'll be seeing more of yours again which will be lovely.

Oh, I almost forgot! I'm producing trailers for Doc Zone docs that you can view on our website. Here's the latest one for a very interesting doc called "Biodad" about the future of reproductive technology and how that will change our notion of "family."

A Sucky Vintage Clothing Sale and a Fab Swap

2009-02-24T15:12:00.003-05:00

In these economic times, it is wise to take advantage of any vintage clothing sale and swap you can come across.

I was so psyched last week to attend a vintage clothing sale put on by Studio.to - some organization the purpose of which I couldn't decipher when I visited its site. I was turned on to it through one of my daily Sweetspot.ca messages which generally annoy me lately with their lame recommendations and corporate sponsors, and after this sale, I'm seriously thinking about removing myself from their mailing list.

Regardless, I've been a fan of vintage clothing sales since I was sixteen so I was hopeful. Imagine my disappointment then when I discovered that this crummy "vintage" sale was nothing but an overpriced ragtag collection of crumpled and dusty Value Village left-overs being sold by hyper-thin 20-somethings who consider themselves stylists.

Sigh.

I harkened back to the good old days of when I attended Ottawa's annual vintage clothing sale held at the Chateau Laurier hotel. I discovered that the same organizers are putting on a new show this spring. Check out this site for pictures of what a vintage clothing sale SHOULD look like! If you are in the area, please attend! I will live vicariously through you!

My disappointment was assuaged a few days later when friends Sarah and Heather hosted a clothing swap. About a half dozen women gathered for hummus, hummus and more hummus plus some rosé wine and settled in to action off piles and piles of cast-offs. It's so lovely when something you haven't worn for two years tickles someone else pink! Speaking of pink, I ended up with an oversized mohair fuchia sweater I never in a million years would have bought for myself. I am wearing it today and have already received two compliments. Ummm yummy cheerful sweater on this cold February day!

World Press Photo - Photo of the Year 2008

2009-02-13T12:37:00.005-05:00

Take a look at the photograph. What is your first reaction to it? Are you trying to place it's location? Are you trying to determine the type of violent confrontation this may be? What kind of destruction has befallen this home?

It is startling to discover it is the photograph, by Anthony Suau for Time, is of an eviction in Cleveland.

The World Press Photo of 2008 depicts what the jury thought to be the most important global issue - the slow collapse of the economy world-wide.

Problem with the photo is, I don't find it to contain enough conflict in the image itself. Without the explanation, it is flat and doesn't elicit a multitude of emotions - just the one of violence. I will have to explore the other winners - perhaps there is one that should have won instead?

For more information about Suau and World Press Photo, please read this CBC article.

My Blogs 2.0!

2009-01-30T13:02:00.012-05:00

Hi y'all! I am excited... check out my new blog dedicated to documentaries!

I've been taking a web editing course at Ryerson U and I have all these exciting new ideas for my blog - like optimizing it for search engines, making it possible for you to subscribe to my RSS feed, creating easy to use video links... so much fun. I'm thinking of even getting back on board with social networking (I got tired of Facebook, but there are other methods); and social boomarking (like Delicious). I want more participation from you!

Joe is also busy in his own internet second life - he's created two private social networking sites, one a photography network he calls ISO459 and the other for our families to share information and updates.

My express goal is to spend more time promoting, critiquing, and celebrating documentary film , so I created a new blog dedicated to that task called I Heart Docs. Stay tuned for more info on this year's Oscar-nominated documentaries.

This blog will remain my main forum for ideas regarding film, street fashion, literature, photography, culture, travel and ideas...!

Ilka's Picks - Fun Stuff to Watch, Read and Listen To

2009-01-22T14:18:00.004-05:00

This is the first time I've published a post containing nothing but links. I'm taking a Web Editorial course at Ryerson University right now and my brain is full of websites... creating them, updating them, finding the best bits in the massive slushpile that is the Interweb... My assignments will include repurposing a print magazine article for it's online component; presenting a magazine website that I love (http://www.vanityfair.com/) and later re-vamping a magazine website that could use sexing-up (I don't know which one I'll pick for that assignment though it has to be Canadian.) As I work through the course, and the rest of my Magazine Publishing Program, I will try to update my blog with whom I have been regretfully out of touch of late!

For "Lost" the TV series fans (Yeah! a new season! This is fun while waiting between episodes):
http://abc.go.com/primetime/lost/missingpieces/index?pn=index

For those curious about torture (who's not?):
http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/video/2008/hitchens_video200808

For lovers of short story (this stuff makes me weak at the knees):
As a story editor, I LOVE seeing the edits!
http://www.newyorker.com/online/2007/12/24/071224on_onlineonly_carver
But I LOVE Chandler's original version even more:
The UN-edited version of Chandler's story:
http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/features/2007/12/24/071224fi_fiction_carver

For global street fashion fans (so fun!!):
http://www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com/http://streetpeeper.com/
For your customized listening pleasure (this radio learns what you like to listen to most):www.last.fm

For understanding the pulse of a nation (those wired, that is):
http://www.google.com/intl/en/press/zeitgeist2008/#top

For Nina Simone lovers (I got my boobies!):
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=GUcXI2BIUOQ

For the sheer celebration of humanity (to balance out the torture selection above):
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=qBXr15K2uSc

Jung Personality Test

2009-01-14T17:46:00.003-05:00

I tried this test a year ago and it surprises me that I end up with the exact same result today! Apparently I am a compassionate writer type with a tendancy towards counseling - go figure...

As my best friends already know, you can come to me with your problems - they will be heard without judgement and I will help you see the bigger picture.

Here's the questionnaire if you are interested in learning more about yourself:

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

My detailed results:

http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=3&c=counselor

http://typelogic.com/infj.html

New Year's 2009

2009-01-05T11:30:00.002-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A Better Democracy

2008-09-18T10:47:00.002-05:00

I'm pairing my vote! An exciting way to vote either strategically or with your conscience. You can too - find out how:
http://www.votepair.ca/

Don't Mess With a Cranky Darth

2008-09-09T17:40:00.006-05:00

While walking through Amsterdam during the last day of my European vacation I decided to film a performance artist since Darth Vadar is one of my neices' favourites... unfortunately, THIS is no Darth to share with four year-olds...

Motorcycle Maintenance

2008-07-31T21:23:00.009-05:00

I have been very much enjoying the thrilling experience of riding on a BMW motorcycle. I had no idea that I could be so afraid and so joyous simultaneously (is this love?)! My father, who was never one to enforce rules on me as a young girl, had one rule when dating boys: never get on the back of a motorcycle.

Yet here I am, riding with Joe as often as I can. He's even got me addicted to The Long Way Around. I'm watching Ewan and Charlie fight the difficulties of traveling through Mongolia and Siberia on motorcycle, and I can't help but wonder: some people are just born ridiculously beautiful, even six weeks into a wild camping adventure - Ewan McGregor is one of them. But then, so is Charlie.

(I know. It's an old show that was produced in 2004... but this is the brilliance of today's TV -- watch what you want when you want. Rent the series on DVD, find it on Surf the Channel or stream on the show's site...)

I love the grounded personalities of these men. Funny how I find them "grounded" when they are traveling around the world on motorcycle leaving their wives and children behind. What does that say about me? Their ups and downs, their desire at times to quit (and that producer David who I wrote off at the beginning as a wank, actually reigned Ewan back in - he's much more of a mother figure than I ever would have imagined), their delight at seeing a black bear for the first time (wait til they get to Alaska!) Oh, it's great fun for me. More than I can even admit to Joe and my father though they will likely read this...

My father, when he met Joe, pulled out his motorcycle for him. And get this! When Joe sat on it, my father took photographs of him! Then he wordlessly allowed me to get on the back of his steed and allowed this new man in his daughter's life to take her off to the wineries of Prince Edward County.

What does that say about my father? About Joe? About all of us? How I will like to know what my father thinks of this TV series.

One more thing: unbelievable how MUCH Siberia looks like British Columbia and how much the truck drivers look like BC loggers. Even Ewan and Charlie become Mountain Men.

I marvel at how small this world can feel sometimes. And at the same time so infinite.

garb-you-radar

2008-06-03T14:30:00.008-05:00

Noun: garb-you-radar (pronounced garburator)

Usage: Cdn

1. A method for determining the presence and location of an object of apparel by measuring the time for the echo of a style wave to return from it and the direction from which it returns.

2. A means or sense of awareness or perception: shoppers working under the style radar.

3. An approach used by style-, socially- and ecoligically-minded individuals to clothing.

I've been told that I have a particular style that is born out of a sixth sense. This is of course my wording - my friends have been far more flattering in ways that I cannot adequately accept with grace.

ANYWAYS>>>> some of you have asked me over the years to shop with you - take you to my favourite haunts, help you pick out the diamond in the rough at the local second-hand-shop.
I've finally decided to take your direction and start a little Self-Style 101 course of sorts.
I see it as a Sunday afternoon in Kensington Market doing the rounds.

The goals are:
- Finding your own style (and then owning it)
- ECO-nomic (a second-hand dress costs $30; and second-hand cowboy boots $40)
- ECO-logical (keeps small children out of the sweatshops; re-uses what's already out there)
- Funness! (I'll make you try things on you'd never have picked out for yourself; we'll stop for tea mid-way through and show each other our outfits over cocktails at the end of the afternoon)
- a whole outfit (from boots/shoes/purse to dress/top to scarft/bracelets)

This idea is obviously in its infancy. I would like you to help me develop it by participating in any way - come with me this Sunday or send me your feedback. I'm going to Kensington on Saturday to map out the route and meet the store-owners.

Eventually I want to charge a fee for this service, but this Sunday will be free.

EAST VILLAGE, NYC

The theme this Sunday is to find the perfect EAST VILLAGE outfit for you! (and me!)
I just returned from NYC (where I now share a basement apartment with my boyfriend Joe) and I did a LOT of studying of fashion while I was there. Believe me, I have totally figured out the East Village look - not only is it sexy and hip, it's also super comfortable.

Let me GARB-YOU! And eventually you'll have your own RADAR for pulling together your own unique street style.

Sunday June 8th, 2pm-4pm (I'm keeping this first foray SHORT and SWEET)

Praise Where Praise is Due

2008-05-16T09:54:00.001-05:00

If you scroll down the comments for this Bright Eyes video you'll see that I became miffed when viewers started disparaging Conor Oberst for being TALENTED! Such a shame...

Relationship Advice From Cary Tennis

2008-04-30T12:23:00.002-05:00

WOW! Is it Spring or is it that myself and my peers are thinking seriously about finding our right mates... Feels like relationships is the number one topic of our conversations these days.

It's all a process of self-discovery and communication isn't it? And then it's so painful and disappointing when the rocky moments hit. Love can be both heart-rending and heart-mending. It's give and take while being true to ourselves. Sometimes we grow together, other times we grow apart. What to do then? I've known for years now that standing in the fire is so very painful and difficult but the only way to truth.

Cary Tennis agrees. Here's some up front good advice for anyone going through painful moments in relationships:
http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/04/30/husband_wants_divorce/index.html
For those of us who embrace the artists' approach to life, this advice will be particulary keen.

If you're thinking of doing some writing for personal exploration (according to Cary, all writing is personal exploration) http://www.carytennis.com/workshops.html

Reading Cary's column, which sometimes I LOVE and sometimes hits me the wrong way, has been a great boon in my personal growth over the past year. Through my own meditation, writing and reading his column, I came up with my mantras that I have shared with you already:

CONFIDENCE
INTEGRITY
LOVE IN YOUR HEART
FAITH

SEPARATE THE EGO FROM THE PRACTICE

And with my mantras in mind and heart, I thank you for taking the time to read this.

An Exciting Speech

2008-03-21T09:01:00.001-05:00

Obama sent shivers up my spine with this speech. It's long, but it's really worth listening to all thr way through.

The speech is called "A More Perfect Union" in case this link dissolves:

http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/hisownwords/

peace

Path of the Monarch

2008-03-07T11:55:00.008-05:00

To me, a monarch butterfly is pure inspiration. It is as delicate as an onion skin, yet as strong and determined as an orca whale. I see them tumble and waver through the sky at the edge of my parents' beach on Lake Ontario at the tail end of summer before they take a last deep breath to cross south.

Their migration spans the three great nations of North America. They know no boundaries set by humans. They don't recognize our systems and ways, yet we are making it increasingly difficult for them to survive.

"...researchers are greatly concerned that the entire monarch butterfly migration and overwintering phenomenon in eastern North America may collapse in the near future if the Mexican government does not fully enforce the logging ban."

I read about clear-cutting in Mexico in The New York Times today. The article led me to this NASA website that contains disheartening photographs:

http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/NewImages/images.php3?img_id=17943

In November 2000 the Mexican president declared this "core zone" for southern overwintering a protected space. Unfortunately the illegal logging persists. And get this: the loggers sometimes go in armed! I can just see them aiming at the fluttering orange targets. Silly men with guns. Don't they know how hard it is to shoot a butterfly?

Notes on the Fire on Queen Street

2008-02-20T20:28:00.004-05:00

(pics courtesy of torontoist.com)

Notes from the Fire on Queen Street

MORNING
Chopper chopping the news
Copter hovering above like
A dragonfly suspended

Bulked up firemen; an older one is
Smoking a classic wooden pipe
“My feet are cold” he says
They climb into the idling
Red truck

At least a dozen trucks at
Intersection. These firefighters
Have been here for hours.
The younger ones are the
Grunts lifting canisters of
Oxygen

A slope of kindling across the
Sidewalk; the remains of what was
Once – and before that –
Behind it a steady
Fall of water – five hoses aimed
At the base, one from a tower

Pedestrians on cell phones
Some had heard the news
& came prepared with cameras
We’re all stepping over the
Police tape

The water from the crane
Hose is a solid tube of
Froth a good foot in
Diameter

It’s frigid. My hands are
Cracking from the cold

A beautiful sunny day

The mood is quiet &
Pensive

Axe chopping ice at the sewer drain

Thick boa constrictors of
Fire hoses on the pavement
Lying, some empty, like
Discarded skins & others
Full of water rats
In the middle
Of the city’s busiest intersection
Now transformed

Smoke fallout traveling
East. It will be a stinky walk
To work today

Five more trucks on Richmond
A man knocks at homes
To evacuate?

There will be homeless

EVENING
Two crane ladders

Still pumping streams

Street now lit up like
The film set of a
Horror pic
Haunted Fun House gone
Wrong

Facades iced in cake
Trees and wires hung heavy
With gaudy icicles

Crowds of people
With cell phones &
Cameras
Some smiling; excited
Others grim-faced

Bits of ash floating down
Or is it snow?

Rocky Mountain Wisdom

2008-02-12T15:11:00.000-05:00

Two days of snowboarding with this view - my body aches and I feel as though the mountains worked me good.

I thought that by going out West and being in different scenery - namely the grand Rocky Mountains - I could open up my heart and mind and let the cool, clear wind pass through and blow away any detritus. I expected that once cleared, the mountains could provide me with the answers I would use to fill them up again. What does my past mean? And what does my future hold?

I said once I got to the peak: I'm an empty vessel, Mountains. I am ready for the wisdom that you can impart.

I waited.

Alas, all I heard and felt was the cool wind.

Driving back through the Rockies towards Calgary, sitting beside Heidi during long silent passages of time save for her iPod on shuffle, I got an answer I didn't expect. I realized that I should and could be present wherever I am.

Heidi and I have not spent this much time together in years. Yet we could be silent and contemplative together. We could also sing horribly together! But what fun.

I have recently made a move to live alone again and I have to re-learn to be silent (or sing horribly!) and contemplative in my own company and at any given moment be truly present. A process that I already know is vastly rewarding.

My Rocky Mountain experiences serve to anchor me. Serve to remind me that I am but a speck on this planet. But that I have work to do to pull my own weight.

I have a strong vision and purpose.

I am excited about my own future.

I am happy.

May you also feel the joy of being present in your self.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for

and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool

for love

for your dream

for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...

I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow

if you have been opened by life’s betrayals

or have become shrivelled and closed

from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain

mine or your own

without moving to hide it

or fade itor fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy

mine or your own

if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us

to be careful

to be realistic

to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless

and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not prettyevery day.

And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure

yours and mine

and still stand at the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon,“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me

to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up

after the night of grief and despair

weary and bruised to the bone

and do what needs to be doneto feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know

or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand

in the centre of the fire

with me

and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom

you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you

from the inside

when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself

and if you truly like the company you keep

in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Until One is Committed

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.

Goethe

Culture Shock Replacement

2008-01-24T17:36:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking non-stop about a suitable replacement for culture-shock which my friend Hilary finds is an unfriendly and repressive term. She asked me yesterday, “can we come up with, right now, a replacement for that term?” But she was in transit and we didn’t have more than ten seconds to ponder a replacement.

Hilary’s on her way to the Middle East for the first time and everyone seems to be warning her that being thrown into a new culture and feeling disoriented is a “bad” thing. Can it not be a “good” thing?

I've come up with so far:

culture-stir

culture-birth

culture-awakening

I like the idea of birthing, of awakening when we are thrown into new surroundings. I also like Hilary’s summation: the opportunity of being in new surroundings is a time for standing back, taking in, for observing and respecting and remaining quiet.

And then when ready, I think, ask questions.

Here is the Oxford Dictionary definition of awakening:

A rising from sleep, or (in modern use, more commonly) from sloth, inaction, or indifference.

I love the notion of rousing or quickening to a new culture, and new sights, new sounds. Truly you are asleep to the whats, wheres and whoms you don’t know. This process of being born into a new life, essentially, is disorienting, and scary for sure. But it also affords us, in time, recognition of a community once unknown to us. And that can only better our understanding of our common human experience.

Traveling, truly traveling and leaving the prescribed routes, is a shock, certainly. But those of us who are fortunate enough to have traveled to cultures previously unknown to us respect the fear caused by disorientation. We celebrate our newly gained knowledge. The enlightenment that we achieve is what we are able to share with others and vitalizes the whats, wheres and whoms of our collective consciousness.

A Red Jello Placenta

2007-11-19T15:26:00.000-05:00

Pitted and cratered like the moon.
Blood-red and wet-glistening.
Slick it slides out of the bowl with a
Suction-released shuck
Into the trashcan
Cherry topping on waste
It jiggles briefly, then is still
Now wasted.
An exercise gone wrong:
Impatience had made me stick the
steaming liquid into the freezer
so eager for the carnal Quick Fix
of processed sugar.
The Morning After
Charred flesh
Grizzled by frost
And defrosting it
Doesn’t undo
The Mistake

Union Station

2007-11-15T10:38:00.000-05:00

Union station as it was being built

Train station in Buenos Aires
Gare du Nord - where I arrived when I visited Paris
I love this classic picture of Grand Central in NYC
Bikes outside of Station Centraal in Amsterdam
Passengers waiting in Mumbai

I read yesterday that the city is going to invest $176 million over the next 20 years to keep Toronto's station in a state of good repair. It does look pretty shabby these days. It needs loving. I felt like taking a look at other train stations around the world (I love the internet! That's correct - I do not own these pictures.)

There's something about the light in train stations that really gets to me.

The song that picks me up

2007-10-17T20:59:00.000-05:00

If you feel like singing a song
And you want other people to sing along
Just sing what you feel
Don’t let anyone say it’s wrong

And if you’re trying to paint a picture
But you’re not sure which colors belong
Just paint what you see
Don’t let anyone say it’s wrong

And if you’re strung out like a kite
Or stung awake in the night
It’s alright to be frightened

When there’s a light (what light)
There’s a light (one light)
There’s a light (white light)
Inside of you

If you think you might need somebody
To pick you up when you drag
Don’t loose sight of yourself
Don’t let anyone change your bag

And if the whole world’s singing your songs
And all of your paintings have been hung
Just remember what was yours is everyone’s from now on

And that’s not wrong or right
But you can struggle with it all you like
You'll only get uptight

-Wilco

Save Canadian Television

2007-09-25T14:26:00.000-05:00

Please, if you support Canadian programming, the most effective way is the Canadian Television Fund (CTF) despite what the cable companies tell you.

Visit this link and click the NO box: https://secure.shaw.ca/apps/Secure/CRTCForms/CTF.aspx

This is what I sent to the Minister of Heritage min_verner@pch.gc.ca:

As an employee of CBC Television, and a proud Canadian television viewer, I take serious issue with Shaw Communications' current campaign in nationwide advertisements to discredit and distort the essential contribution of the Canadian Television Fund to the production of Canadian television programming.

I sincerely hope that the Minister of Heritage and the CRTC will give swift action to resolve this dispute, and furthermore believe that it is irresponsible for a company like Shaw Communications---in possession of a public trust in the form of a telecommunications license---to willfully undermine an agency that has tirelessly and effectively promoted creative Canadian programming.

Save the CTF. Save our jobs. Save Canadian culture on our screens.

A Shout Out

2007-09-17T21:25:00.000-05:00

Leslie Davidson and her sweet baby Veda

My sister Sonya and her children Charlotte, Petronella and Willem

Bhajan Cooke, my friend since we were 16
David Lochhead and Christina Stobert - irreplaceable
Precious Heidi Neill
Amazing Hilary Black
Stronger than a jewel, Julie Cote

Talented in so many ways, Bethan Nodwell

It's sometimes difficult to pinpoint those precious people who have influenced and shaped your life in such a way that you are changed forever. Here are a few of my most solid and ever-giving friends that naturally rise to meet that definition. They are constantly inspiring me and encouraging me to embrace my self. Pure love.

Naivete of War

2007-08-16T16:23:00.000-05:00

I read this in The New York Times today:

U.S. and Israel Sign Arms Deal
Israel and the United States signed a deal to give Isreal $30 billion in military aid over the next decade in what officials called a long-term investment in peace.

Reads like a joke, but it's not. Not that I'm a peace-nik out there protesting. I can understand humanity's tendency towards violence... this just seems so ridiculously imbalanced.

Am I naive?

Prince Willem

2007-08-14T16:07:00.000-05:00

I've been waiting since late last week for Sonya to go into labour. She finally did and Willem was born shortly after 5am on Saturday, which just happens to be my father's birthday. I was gratefully present for this calm and amazing home birth that went as smoothly as you could wish. The only difficulty was that Will was facing the "wrong" way and turned during the birth which caused my brave, drug-free sister some additional discomfort. But it was over quickly and the amazing midwives made us all (myself, Sonya, Keven and Willem) feel at peace. Sonya was up and about later that morning, and my parents and I spent most of the day babysitting the girls who are thrilled to have a little brother they are calling Prince Willem. Now I'm back at my desk. How boring!

Blast Furnace

2007-08-03T11:49:00.000-05:00

Michael, my super new boss, likened Toronto to a blast furnace yesterday. I was overhearing a telephone conversation between him and an independent producer - the language can get rather descriptive at times.

Since yesterday, I've been thinking of the term non-stop. I include a picture of a blast furnace here to help guide your imagination if you are lucky enough to live amongst cool, clean breezes.

Carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, waster gases and air blasts.

Imagine cycling to work through it. Or even walking down a sidewalk.

And yet, I love Toronto. I have never felt more at home anywhere. In Toronto, I have grown into my calm, centered, happy self. The air is shit. Especially on a hot day. But I think of the millions of people around the earth who are sharing the same experience with me today in Guatemala City, Hong Kong, Mexico City, Bangalore and Rome. Hello my fellow city-dwellers! It isn't easy living here today, but it's dynamic and this city holds my attention and forces me to grown and learn - and for someone that bores easily, that's important.

But oh am I ever looking forward to some peace and stars when I visit my parents house on their stretch of open lakefront.

I will navigate the milky way with my father's binoculars and sail over choppy waters and in between I will pull in deep breaths of fresh air.

Crippled

2007-08-01T10:05:00.001-05:00

It seems to me that Jesse Imeson was fleeing in a violent panic from his own sexuality.

WATER: drinking, rising, owning

2007-06-19T21:34:00.000-05:00

There is a water shortage globally. We don’t like to talk about it ‘round the cooler in the office, but very soon it will become a major issue of our time. And that water cooler may very well become a relic of history.

With 1 billion people already lacking adequate access to clean drinking water this number is projected to rise to 7 billion by 2050 if our current practices remain unchecked.

Wealthy nations use up the water of poorer nations via food production and the manufacturing of goods for export.

The first real crisis of water shortage in the wealthy world is being experienced by Australia. Some regions are in their 5th year of drought. The situation has forced that country’s citizens to learn to ration and collect in several jurisdictions. Crop failures abound. Yet in Sydney there was recently a flash rainfall which elated its inhabitants. Unfortunately the liquid life-force was let to soak through the parks and drain down the sewers.

If governments don’t begin to appreciate this shortage of water the situation will affect global security.

“The primary cause of the water crisis of the twenty-first century is not a shortage of water, but of political commitment and good water management.” – Willem Alexander, Prince of Orange

As a result of our warming climate, the cryosphere is melting. Along with this, our mountain’s glaciers are retreating fast. This water is being added to seas that are already thermally expanding. Should Greenland’s ice-mass succumb we could see millions of “climate exiles” from low-level coastal areas such as India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh.

The Dutch have already accepted that several polders they worked so hard to reclaim from the sea will have to be given back.

Canadians will have to reconcile their hold on water for the greater good of humanity. Blessed as we may be with massive caches of fresh water, we will have to bend our protective attitudes for the thirsty south of the border.

Currently water is not a “good” outlined in the North American Free Trade Agreement. There is a general anxiety that if we start to sell it, it will become a “good” and in essence no longer in our control.

“There are increasing number of conflicts about how much water a person should have and what it should be used for. Which is a better way to handle those: through market or through authority?” – Jim Mattison, B.C.’s comptroller of water rights

This documentary seeks to bring three broad water concerns to the forefront of our imaginations.

RISING

The affects that a warming climate has and will have on the world’s seas will force cities such as New Orleans and London to seriously consider storm surges. Countries in south-east Asia must plan to relocate thousands of people annually. The Netherlands has already become adept at building home on the sea. Storms will become wetter. Rivers that are prone to flooding and mountainsides that are subject to slides will have to be dammed and diverted. Protecting cities, villages and homes will involve inordinate amounts of politicking, planning and engineering.

DRINKING

Despite the world’s amount of sea water, desalination is an extremely expensive and environmentally destructive procedure. We await a more efficient solution to this dilemma. In the meantime, we must make drinkable the water at hand in order to prevent the spread of more water-borne disease. Various scientific methods are currently being developed to address this issue. For instance, the journal Science recently reported a nanotechnology technique for removing arsenic using electromagnets. To develop these types of methods will cost money. To bring them to those who need it most, and teach them how to utilize them, will cost even more.

OWNING

Even more valuable than gold to humans is water. We need to drink it, we need it to make food and we need it to manufacture all of our creature comforts. Already the world has seen the commodification of water. The World Bank saw water privatization as the most practical way to purify water for poor countries. But in 2006 Suez (one of the world’s largest water companies) pulled out of Latin America. One of its chief executives lamented: “Private funding runs into ideological problems. We need to be more humble. We have to adapt to local realities.”

“We need to do for water what we did for climate change. How do we recharge aquifers? There’s no policy anywhere in place at the moment.” - Professor Jeffrey Sachs, Director of the UN’s Millennium Project

An Open Letter to Jon Krakauer

2007-05-04T02:02:00.000-05:00

Jon Krakauer, what I want to tell you is so vast.
It expands years of my life. It connects the different “parts” of me. The “chapters” if you will, of my life.
I am going to write here, free-form as Sarah instructed us to do without editing, without re-writing, I am trying to write here without editing myself, but it is difficult as I have just smoked half a cigarette and I am buzzed and the physical limitations it places on me means many typographical errors – I can barely type coherently.
But the thought that I encountered while I was thinking of how to start this letter to you was that I understand, to a limited extent mind you, the enormity of challenging Nature.
My life and my relationship with Nature, with my brief and ever-so-narrow experience with Mountaineering and that part of my life, intertwined with my life as a Writer and my life as a Journalist and as a Filmmaker are all intertwined and somehow echo deeply with the kind of writing that you have produced.
I have known the harrowing experience of challenging Nature. While I taking the time to reflect briefly, to delve into my memories if ever so tentatively, I came across the memory of Jason. How he had come to climbing X mountain and told me that he almost froze to death along with another climber there on the side of that face, him trying to sleep in the bivvy bag that I had sewn him while young, while inexperienced, while idealistic about the sport, the challenge, the life.
Yet by the time he tried it, I myself had given up. Had walked away from the challenge. Had decided not to take it on as my own. It was a big part of why he and I are no longer together. Yet I feel it. I feel a kinship towards it. This desire to feel the ache of our Planet, to feel humbled by the sheer force and magnitude of the power of Nature.
I love to feel humbled.
Hence, I suppose, my inhibition to write to you.
Ok, it’s not easy to write to someone you admire greatly. I mean, who am I? Yet we are all Human, we all share in the awe of being alive.
For nine years I lived in British Columbia and forsook my parents, my sister and friends in order to maintain a fierce relationship with the Land. The mountains, the trees, the earth and sky and oxygen it fed me. The Earth never gave up on me. It always gave me more: more nutrients, more challenges, more questions to be answered.
Yet here I am today in my country’s largest city and I feel at home. I feel as though in those nine years I explored as much as I needed. I became aware of and could accept my limitations. Others could not. Others pressed on to the point of expiration. I admire that, yet I disdain it simultaneously.
Your writing was at first a quenching to a thirst. To understand more fully the quest to “bag a peak,” to understand the feeling of being pushed to ultimate physical limits. Lately, after reading “Under the Banner” my respect for you grew. I have to be honest though, when I first started the book I was annoyed and disappointed that perhaps it was a little sensationalist. The feature magazine writer in you pushed me away. Especially after “Into the Wild” captured me so fully because of its intimacy. But as I read further, I realized that you had spent a great deal of time, a great deal of energy – you had invested so much into this story that was at once a part of you also became a part of you. And as I read it, so did it become a part of me.
Religion proposes endless questions.
I have been working in television for the past – oh, almost ten years now. Sheesh, the greatest part of my adult life. I have often wondered why I am involved in television at all since it feels like it is too much too often the pap of the people. But it is, actually, a place where human stories are told. I am trying, right now, to piece my first film together. It is personal. It involves friends who have started to make maple syrup from the trees that grow on their land. It is also the story of a birthday party, an event that is consciously made to occur simultaneously with the spring maple rush. It is a lovely story of the excitement that we as humans have for the life-force of Nature.
I don’t know if it will turn out to mean anything more than a fond memory to myself and the friends who attended this weekend of maple sugaring in the bush – but at the same time there is a deeper reckoning. For myself at the very least.
Somehow I have ended up working for the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) in the Documentary Programming unit. I am the executive assistant to the Executive Director of Documentary Programming for CBC Television. There are too many times I have typed the word executive here and I am annoyed. The fact that I am an assistant is also annoying – but then, this is the story I have written for myself. Sometimes I think of the job as a corner instead of an opportunity which is maybe limiting myself.
All my life I have fancied myself a writer. I have fancied this of myself, yet I have also known it to be true on a much deeper, fundamental level. When I read your books, I feel a sense of relief. A sense of “ah, someone is answering my unwritten, unspoken, indescribable need.” You connect the disparate “chunks” (for lack of a better word at the moment) of my life.
The writer in me. The explorer in me. The philosopher in me. The journalist in me. I have never been published, yet does this detract from me? I used to think it did. I accept (happily) now that I am who I am.
My newfound friend (I am being forward in calling her a friend) my writing teacher and peer, Sarah, suggested that I write you a note to thank you for having an impact on my life. Isn’t that a lovely idea? She said that too often writers work in solitude.
I thank you, Jon. I thank you for questioning. I thank you for questing. I admire you greatly for your desire to feel connected with the unknown, the previously un-explained. You dare to attempt to explain the facets of life that are sacred, that many feel are not possible to put into words. You dare to try. And you do so with grace, with the utmost respect and with, I feel, a desire to understand more fully the nature of us, us strange, weird, egotistical, magical, creative wondrous creatures, us humans. And with your writing, you bring us together in a way that has never been done before.
It’s 1:49 am now and the day has taken its toll on this 33 year-old child who is unaccustomed to staying up this late on a “school night” and subsequently attempting to write. I appreciate your patience in reading through this bit of a slog. I wanted to reach out to you, more than any other author, because I believe in you, Jon. I believe your convictions to be true, and I am inspired by your desire to quest.
Thank you for the words and experiences you have shared with myself and your other readers. I am grateful for the efforts you have made and the thought and care you have infused in everything that you do and write.
All my best,
Your daughter, your sister, your friend and your colleague,
Ilka

Hot Docs Summary

2007-04-26T20:24:00.000-05:00

My Hot Docs experience was limited. No Industry Pass, just a book of ten tickets shared between Dave and I and a few of our friends. Tonight, Heather joined me for Garbage Warrior which I had originally earmarked to watch with Hilary (who is in Kentucky selling leather boots.) Hilary still needs to watch this film. So does Louise. So does Ingrid. So does anyone who will take the lessons learned from that film and the other wonderful docs presented at this festival and use them to make the world a gentler place for our young ones to stretch their wings in and grow.

I felt like I chose wisely. My three films this season comprised of Garbage Warrior , Suicide Tourist and What Would Jesus Buy . You can read their synposes if you'd like, I'm going to follow-up below with the reasons why I felt I had selected well.

What Would Jesus Buy tells the story of a street performer who one day, living in Times Square, is spurred by the panic caused by the consumer frenzy that surrounds him, and takes on the persona of a preacher. In no time, he has founded the Church of Stop Shopping and a dedicated team of fellow performers (read: activists) become his choir. It is the story of a band on a road trip. Touring minstrels of a sort with a very important message to Americans - reign in the shopping addiction, stop and think before you buy. If you have been reading my blog at all (and I know that this is a very rhetorical environment, so I have no clue if anyone is reading this!) But if you are, you would know that I have been struggling of late with my love for shopping - for clothing in particular. This film really stroked my sensibilities in the sense that it was echoing my desire to become a more "conscious" shopper. My Facebook religion lists: Everything is connected. It is true. What we buy in North America has a direct effect on: the environment, the economy, and the lives of people around the world. Luckily, this film was a raucously funny ride and seldom does it drag in philosiphical mire. That's the brilliance of anything Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me) touches.

The second film we saw, Suicide Tourist, spoke to a concern my sister Sonya and I have been discussing for the past few years. Assisted suicide, to me, seems like a basic human right. When our bodies turn the corner from being able to sustain health to clinging to life in a state of irreperable unhealth and desperate decline, then I believe that we should be able to settle our affairs with our families and loved ones, and do ourselves in. We'd spare the medical system, our families and friends the great favour of passing on with the least resistance and pain. That is, if such is the way we choose to go. This film follows two couples and their families and their relationship with an organization called Dignatas which works to legally assist with this last stage of life we all must face. It is a story of courage, of respect and compassion for human life. It is as lovely as it is sad. The score wavered at times, but at times also transcended this peice of filmmaking that could have been extremely uncomfortable into a poem. What I appreciated most about the film was that it demonstrated that death is taboo in our culture and we need to learn the language and behaviour to better treat it.

Garbage Warrior was inspirational in the best way - a kooky mad scientist with wild white hair. Only he's an architect. Building these dwellings he calls "earthships" in New Mexico since the '70's, he's learned a hell of a lot through trial and error of how to build self-sustaining communities completely off the grid. Beautiful bejeweled walls made with glass and plastic bottles was my favourite feature. So much to learn from one individual! I love these amazing, creative folks. See, we humans as fabulous as we are mad.

There is a solution for all the world's problems. Just a matter of fighting the good fight. Perseverence. Creativity. Well, you know the rest.

Banning the Bulb

2007-04-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

Ontario is the first North American jurisdiction to ban the incandescent lightbulb. It will become illegal to sell them by 2012. Still a long ways away, but hopefully we will naturally switch over long before then. Another step forward. Upon learning this, I had instant visions of silkscreened hemp t-shirts emblazoned with the image of a bulb crossed out. Bulb Powrr! I admit, however, that I may hold on to a few for special nostalgic evenings. They really do emit a different kind of light that we are so accustomed to. Especially those fat, colourful Christmas lights from the '40's. I'm going to have to find a set of those, stash them away, and pull them out from time to time the way that recepients of thieved art skulk to their cellars to gaze upon stolen Picasso's. Anyone have a set? I can meet you in the alleyway of your discretion.

Friday the 13th

2007-04-13T13:49:00.000-05:00

The filming of the Maple Party was a success and I have since (with Dave's help) loaded the footage to iMovie. I was planning on getting started this week - but I hit a snag...

WE'VE BEEN EVICTED! ok, it didn't happen today (being Friday the 13th - which I actually believe to be an auspicious rather than ill-omened day) but back on Tuesday. Our landlord has informed us that he is moving from his store-front, where he's been living behind spray-painted windows, up to our suite. He's "expanding his business" and this appears to be a valid reason for legal eviction. Since Tuesday though, Dave - being the man of action that he is - found us another place! We'll sign the lease tomorrow morning.

That being writ, it's painful to have to move after putting so much love, time and elbow grease into our current abode. Man, did we ever turn that place around! I'd like to post some pics of our current apartment and the new pad once I get the chance... but it won't be for days as life is far too busy lately!

Eventually, I will also post a link to the Maple Movie - when that day finally arrives.

In the meantime, I know that several of you are combing your closets for swappables. Excellent news, my pretties - the swap is going to be mayhem! I envision a clothing hurricane in my living room! At least one broken wine glass and the noise of women cackling will drive any sensible man running!!!

A Project Idea

2007-03-22T11:35:00.000-05:00

I am very excited for my first project - the maple syrup party at Leslie and Colin's River Bend Alpaca Farm in Merrickville at the end of the month.

Personal Homework

2007-03-22T11:11:00.000-05:00

Last night while doing some personal homework and research, my gut tingled when my mind lit upon the following thought: my personal "stamp" in storytelling is that of spotlighting interesting people. I'm going to make films, and write stories of people doing interesting things. The closest type of docs that I can think of are some of the docs of Errol Morris and Verner Herzog. Or, the book "The Orchid Thief" by Sudan Orlean. Like her, I want to pump my stories with my femine spirit. No one's ever seen documentaries like the ones that I am going to make. And if they don't sell, who gives a shit. I have a day job.

Creativity, Comedy and Womankind

2007-03-08T21:06:00.000-05:00

Creativity is the most valuable currency of humankind. Without it, we are doomed. When humans first evolved on the earth there were so few of us and so many resources. As we learned and our brains grew we became adept at harnessing the natural world for our gain and growth. You could see humankind as a plague, the way we have ravished this once-healthy planet. We are now (and have been for some years) at the brink of a precipice. What will save us? The very ingenuity that got us here! And though the task seems daunting, we can always turn back to ourselves for new ways to humour ourselves, new ways to build comraderie, and endlessly brilliant new ideas.

Comedy is a pleasant form of truth. We look at ourselves in the mirror and we shake our heads - "how did we get here?" If we can laugh, we are open to learning, to evolving, to growing and changing and if not continuing on the same path, recognizing that there are others to follow.

Womankind does not forget the importance of the sensual. Touch, sound, taste. Silence, temperature, vibration. The subtle essences of life that often elude men, we women live and breathe. Like ferns and orchids and plakton, we feed oxygen back into the atmosphere. Men and children luxuriate in the blessings of womankind.

Today, let's celebrate CREATIVITY, COMEDY AND WOMANKIND! Three precious human traits of our shared experience.

Taking the Time to Quote Good Ole Mac

2007-03-08T11:59:00.000-05:00

"During this time it may dawn on us that although we live in an abundant and peaceful society (Canada) and have more than we can ask for, we still are discontent and restless. What is happening is that our senses are satiated and we have become jaded, misguided and totally separated from who we truly are and what our true spirits are capable of. No amount of money, fame, sex or power can remedy this ailment of the soul. No need to worry about alien invasions since in reality we are the aliens from a far away place. Deep within ourselves we know it and our souls long for that profound connection to the universe.
We see our leaders and celebrities falling apart and we conclude that money fame and power allow no release and no peace of mind at all. This is what is changing in our consciousness. If we want love and peace then we must reach inside to get it. Nowhere else can it be found. When we let go of the material acquisition game and seek peace within and find it, an abundance of love begins to flow. "

Fashion & Consumerism

2007-01-23T15:51:00.000-05:00

Been thinking a lot about fashion. Consumerism. The earth and it's people. Been tossing around the idea of becoming a personal shopper, but one that is in tune with our times.

Recently my sister asked that future toys bought for her children be (preferably) made locally. And (preferably) by hand. It is difficult to always buy with lucid consciences. Just the other day Sonya and I found ourselves at the sales racks of H&M. Before we knew it we'd purchased dirt-cheap togs made in China and India. An orange corduroy skirt for five bucks! How could I pass that up?

Expressing myself through clothing is central to my being. And we all need to express ourselves in some way...

Last year I was asked to publish this little story about my relationship to the wedding dress. I was thinking about it today and found it and thought I'd add it to wecommute:

http://www.openjournalmontreal.com/hand-stitching-unraveling-and-standing-alone/

Clothes Swap

2007-01-21T16:36:00.000-05:00

Check out picks from the massively successful swap on my Facebook page!

TAKE TWO!!!

Hello Gals (Boys, I doubt you’ll be interested in this one) -

UGh. I am totally exhausted by the winter doldrums. If you are like me, you need a little “charge.” Here’s an opportunity to revamp your wardrobe – perhaps even your “look” – for free!

CLOTHING SWAP @ my place Sunday April 15th

Bring duds you’re sick to death of but that still have good wear left in them. Everyone else will do the same. Then we’ll swap! It’s a fun way to clear out your closet of deadweight and get new stuff - free!

But it’s not only clothes…

Bring also: shoes, boots, purses, hats, jackets, belts, jewelry, trinkets, housewears and other goods you thought you’d love, you thought would work for you – but don’t. You never know, they may look fantastic on someone else. (Personally, I am planning to empty out half my closet for this event - no joke!)

And also… bring wine! Bring snacks! Bring friends! And we’ll make an afternoon of it. (I'll have plenty of sustenance available as well - we clothes-horses need a lot of energy food! :)

P.S. This is the third swap I've hosted and I can guarantee they are lot of fun - if you are worried that there won't be anything your size, I assure you, I've invited a wide range of "body types" - and don't forget there's always accessories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxo-i

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T23:00:00.000-05:00

I am so excited about 2007 - so many opportunities to use our talents and skills, and push forward the love we all have in our hearts - I believe we can have a positive impact on our precious Earth that we all call home. So many of us, myself included, have become so lazy and complacent. But with wee ones in my life, I can't be.

Some great places to start us moving and shaking: http://www.climatecrisis.net/ http://www.davidsuzuki.org/ (I am intrigued by going "carbon neutral.")

Here's a little anecdote and I invite you to come up with a method to deter the conscienceless:

Two days ago I saw a late-middle-aged man sitting in a Hummer that was idling at the side of the road. I was triply annoyed (the Hummer, the idling, the arrogance) and felt like knocking on his window, and with a sugary sweet smile tell him to smarten up. I chickened out.

A friend (I will keep this person annonymous in case they finally decide to act on this brilliant idea) decided years ago that with some paint and a stencil, a little guerilla stealth in the middle of the night, to plaster SUV's (and other known offenders) with the message: "This Idiot is Killing Us All."

My idea was to make big, round, brightly couloured stickers that read: "Stop Destroying Our Home, Learn Cunnilingus." Dave says that's a little too "riot grrl" for his taste, but Bhajan and Hilary seemed to like it!

Diamonds In My Eyes

2006-12-10T20:38:00.000-05:00

My imagination was consumed a few days ago by synthetic diamonds. They seem to be the answer to so many peoples' desires: the desire for bling (in a Tiffany setting of course!), the desire for technological advancement (imagine a diamond microchip), and the desire for a clear conscience.

There seem to be a few labs in North America that are capable of simulating Nature's magic recipe.
I'll keep my eye on this one, and if you know anything about it, could you let me know?

Other things that are of particular interest to me are:
The world's housing challenge (over 50% of Caracas consists of squatter settlements - see Dave's picture of a barrio below)
Water (the rising of water, the purification of water, the distribution of water)

Addendum - Dave bought me gold stud earrings in the SHAPE of diamonds for my birthday! Lucky for him I find the irony adorable.

Venezuela

2006-12-01T19:40:00.000-05:00

Some images that Dave took during his trip to Venezuela.

Future/Past

2006-11-26T00:47:00.000-05:00

"Motorcycle Diaries" just came to a close here in my living room. Trying to feel a connection with Dave who is in Caracas and a day from returning home. The film was wonderful because it offered me a warm invitation to participate in Ernesto "Che" Guevera and Alberto Granado's epic journey. It will be memorable because of its grand and sweeping landcapes. As I sit here, I am thinking about history and how it is recorded and who gets a say, and when and why and what. And I'm thinking about perspectives and points of view and how easy it is to feel competitive against our fellow humans when intellectually, it should be possible to shed the ego and share in our experiences together. Will we ever be able to write a "human" history?

Above is a picture of what will soon be the tallest building in the world. Tokyo will beat Toronto! Acutally, the CN Tower which I see from my living room widow, from the building where I work, the building that oddly is such a presence in my life - well, I forget that it's the tallest building.

That reminds me of when I arrived in Vancouver at age 20. When I expressed my awe of the mountains, a friend who had moved there a year prior claimed "Ah, you'll forget they're even there. I do."

In nine years, I never did.

Not sure what radio station this is I am listening to, but the DJ is talking about Oregon - feels like a different lifetime ago that I passed though that state! Anyways, they are playing a Broken Social Scene tune. I remember the first time I listened to it - in the kitchen at the place on Bleecker. I think back to what my life was then. I also remember clearly listening to this particular song in my basement apartment on Gwynne last year. And now I am here. Is life changing too fast? Too slow? Too much? Too little? Again, I wish I were somewhere foreign. I am looking forward to the stories and images Dave brings back from Venezuela tomorrow.

Making Sedentary Progress

2006-11-14T22:03:00.001-05:00

It has been too many months since my last confession, Father.

Perhaps it is the grinding discomfort I feel whenever I visit my untouched blog that I have moved very little since I last wrote and this is meant to be a place of movement - the movement of people and ideas. But maybe I can accept into the fold the concepts of flux, evolution and dynamism. What little movement I have made is - physically - virtually immeasurable. My job has changed: I now work at the CBC Broadcast Centre downtown instead of in the barren outlands of North York. So that has made a major impact on my daily commute and in turn my daily life. Taking the bicycle or a short streetcar ride - or heck, walking even! - the change from transitting from streetcar to subway to bus which robbed almost two hours of my day has impacted my life considerably. For one thing, I've been left with all this time! What a luxury. Yet I have been confounded by how to manage it.

May we exchange wisdom with each other as we travel on our own unique, mind-blowing experiences!

Springtime in the Annex

2006-06-01T21:25:00.000-05:00

2006-05-15T21:43:00.000-05:00

We found this lawn chair on the sidewalk in a pile of stuff marked "free." This is me waiting for the Bathurst streetcar.

Doubly Privileged

2006-04-26T14:41:00.000-05:00

After two years of international paperwork, I am finally, officially, a dual citizen of Canada and the Netherlands. Today I picked up a whole new passport. You couldn't give a person a better present then the rights to citizenship to one of the world's most safe, wealthy and socially minded countries. A second set of rights and privileges. It's almost sickening how lucky I am - thanks Mom and Dad. My sister is not so fortuitous - the folks renounced their Dutch citizenship when they became Canadians during the time between when I was born and she was born. They loved Canada so much they wanted to become citizens - who could blame them? Is this not a country to be proud of? Unfortunately Canadian law demanded that they relinqish their birth nationality in order to become Canadian. My parents did not chose to remain landed immigrants and maintain their origianal nationality as so many thousands of immigrants to Canada choose to do. They wanted to vote.

Below is a recent email from one of my Dutch cousins from her travels in India. My Dutch isn't fantastic, but in this communique Floor describes how she and her travel companion meet a traveler who knows no English so they teach him a few words. Then tomorrow they themselves will learn more English from two other girls who work in the hotel. Yesterday they watched the Canadian film "Born In Brothels" - a fantastic documentary about children born and raised in the brothels of Calcutta.

I thought in light of my new identity as Dutch/Canadian I would push the Netherlandic language onto you since English is always pushed onto them.

Hey hey,

Hier zijn we weer... Het is hier eindelijk weer lekker weer! De eerste paar dagen dat we hier waren was het echt Nederlands weer! Vida en ik gaan iedere dag een heel eind lopen want onze conditie is nog niet echt wat het zijn moet en we willen toch echt wel de berg op (6000 m.) Gister hebben we een jongen leren kennen die 3 maanden geleden uit Tibet weg is gegaan en nog geen woord engels spreekt dus wij gaan hem een beetje engels leren! Ook twee meisjes die bij ons in het hotel werken gaan we vanaf morgen engels leren. Gister zijn we naar de film geweest (born into brothels). 't Was echt een hele mooie documantaire over kinderen die in een sloppen wijk in Calcutta wonen en een amerikaanse vrouw die de kinderen daar probeerde weg te krijgen. Er was een jongetje bij die echt prachtige foto's kon maken en kon schilderen. 't Was maar goed dat er meer mensen in de bios zaten want anders hadden Vida en ik hard zitten huilen! O ja weet iemand nog hoe die Italiaanse film heet die afgelopen zomer in het filmhuis draaide en 6 uur duurde (ja zelfs Philippe weet dit!) Kan het niet hebben dat ik de naam ben vergeten... Verder vermaken wij ons hier nog prima,natuurlijk!!!
Veel liefs en tot snel (hahahah) xxx Vida en Floor

Valentine's Day 2006

2006-02-14T12:40:00.000-05:00

(This was emailed to my dearest of friends for Valentine's Day)
You all know me as a helpless romantic incapable of checking my love at the door. Always happy to be in love, I find myself surprisingly at peace with being unattached this fine February the 14th. Yet my love still gushes forth. Just now as I walked back to my desk, touching the red pendant that hangs between the red collar of my red shirt, I banged my head against an open cupboard door. I chuckle to myself because on my mind is the beautiful man from the streetcar whom I made a point of sitting behind while returning home from my class last night. He was very tall, very thin, very dark-skinned and walked with a casual style. What struck me in particular were the two bags he carried which were full of some sort of recording equipment. Sound or picture - I could not decipher. He had placed them gently down on the seat to his side and kept them close. He gazed through the windows alert at the world around him. He must use the equipment to record this world. I was smitten. At one point he turned my way and smiled at me. My heart could have pounded through steel. You could argue that this is an unremarkable event. A fleeting blip of the connection of two human souls on a planet of billions…
(Check this out! http://www.ibiblio.org/lunarbin/worldpop )
But I’d rather think it’s about our human capacity for love – a power that we can wield even in a world that sometimes feels ovewhelmed with conflict. Ok. Enough blather from me. I’ll leave you here with the words of a true poet who says it better than I ever could.
HAPPY LOVE DAY TO ALL OF YOU!

F. R. Scott
From: Events and Signals. Toronto: Ryerson Press, 1954.

A Grain of Rice

Such majestic rhythms, such tiny disturbances.
The rain of the monsoon falls, an inescapable treasure,
Hundreds of millions live
Only because of the certainty of this season,
The turn of the wind.

The frame of our human house rests on the motion
Of earth and of moon, the rise of continents,
Invasion of deserts, erosion of hills,
The capping of ice.

Today, while Europe tilted, drying the Baltic,
I read of a battle between brothers in anguish.
A flag moved a mile.

And today, from a curled leaf cocoon, in the course of its
rhythm,
I saw the break of a shell, the creation
Of a great Asian moth, radiant, fragile,
Incapable of not being born, and trembling
To live its brief moment.

Religions build walls round our love, and science
Is equal of truth and of error. Yet always we find
Such ordered purpose in cell and in galaxy,
So great a glory in life-thrust and mind-range,
Such widening frontiers to draw out our longings,
We grow to one world
Through enlargement of wonder.

2006-02-11T09:10:00.000-05:00

Voting in St. James Town - January 24, 2006

This is a corner store in the traditional sense of corner stores: crisp apples in baskets are lined up in rows outside and fresh flowers sit in colourful plastic bins in the windows. Racked newspapers cramp the entry-way and a little bell rings when the door shuts behind you upon entry. Regulars here are welcomed by name and their purchases are anticipated: the lotto ticket tray is swept out from under the counter for presentation, and the amount for Ethiopian bread is punched in the register before the customer has selected his purchase.

Boyun Lee, who goes by the name of Julia, owns and runs Howard’s Fruit and Vegetables with her husband Howard. Their store is on the corner of Howard and Bleecker Streets (guess where Howard got his “Canadian” name) in St. James Town. This is arguably Canada’s most densely populated and ethnically prolific neighbourhood – fifteen thousand souls from around the globe in two city blocks. Here my Caucasian face is the minority.

For two years I lived in the third and top floor of this turn-of-the-century brick building that is dwarfed by the eighteen high-rise apartment buildings that loom in the background. It is one of the few reminders of St. James Town’s earliest years in the 1870’s when this was one of Toronto’s desirable upper middle class neighbourhoods. Now this area represents a chief concentration of new immigrants to our city.

Today is Election Day, and I am on my way to Rose Avenue Public School to vote. I stop in at Howard’s to have a friendly chat with Julia. We talk a little longer than usual. There has been a paucity of concern for immigrant issues during this election and I am curious to know how Julia feels about it. In broken English she explains that she is fed up with what she perceives is a corrupt Martin government and has decided to vote Conservative. She wants to see a change, that change is good. Her children on the other hand, prefer an NDP government. But she doesn’t want to throw her vote away, that’s how she’s sees it.

I ask Julia if she understands the terms “minority government” and “opposition party” and she says she’s heard these words before but doesn’t understand them. She explains that when she became a Canadian citizen a year ago that this was all described to her, but her English is rough and it’s difficult to understand such concepts. Language acquisition is important to her and she has attended ESL classes; however she was disappointed in how lax the instructor was and how he never assigned homework. Now she tries to practice with customers, but since nearly everyone in the neighbourhood is also struggling with the language there has been little progress. She laughs when she describes how she tries to read the Toronto Star between customers but rarely gets past the headlines. I wonder how many new Canadians never get past the headlines.

Julia, Howard and their two children moved from South Korea to Canada on May 16, 2001 and within a year they had bought the store. For the most part, the neighbourhood is friendly. There is an evident crack problem and some prostitution, but the crime comes and goes in waves. There are times when Julia gets very, very scared: one day last week a half-dozen thuggish teens stormed in and grabbed whatever they wanted then hit every other store on the block in a similar fashion. Last year there was a marked dealer presence on the corner, the same types of thugs sat behind the glass window of the fried chicken place next door and kept their eyes trained on the sidewalk. A new, resolute owner has cleared out that presence – for now.

But Julia is happy to be here. She has no plans of returning to South Korea, especially when she thinks of the future of her children. “We moved here because it was the thing to do for younger people who want to see progression. We wanted to break free from the traditional life in South Korea where women of my mother’s generation are still servants to their husbands.” If there’s one thing St. James Town needs, Julia thinks, is a change of attitude. “Most people are very nice, but some people need education to learn respect.”

As I leave for the elementary school, I ask if Julia’s youngest attends class there. She says no, he attends Rosedale Public School. In his class he is one of only two or three visible minority kids – so why? Because she wants to make sure that he commands the English language and sees immersion into Anglo culture as the most efficient way.

Rose Avenue Public School is another rare brick building amongst the tenements. It has seen better days. Big yellow arrows direct voters down a basement corridor. On the walls of the corridor are collages that children have made of themselves from tiny scraps of coloured paper. Below these collages they have listed particulars about their physiques. The title of each collage is called “Me” and one description reads:

Me
My eyes are BROWN
My hair is BLACK
My skin is LIT BROWN
By: Nirmala

Before I enter the gymnasium to vote I take a pit stop in the girls’ washroom. Two ten-year-olds are playing with a faucet, trying to make it squeal as loud as possible. They are laughing uncontrollably but gulp back when they see me. I enquire if it’s ok to ask them a couple questions about immigration and they agree.

Rafa Mir is from Bangladesh and moved here with her family when she was two. Neither of her parents is a Canadian Citizen and will not vote today. Cristine Castro’s mother is from the Philippines but has become a Canadian Citizen and will vote today. The girls learn about voting in school. They cut out articles from the newspapers and learn about the parties and the polls and how to not wreck ballots, and if you’re sick that you can email your vote in, or if you have to go for an operation you can vote in advance.

The girls tell me that the hardest thing about immigrating to Canada is leaving family behind. Also, Rafa says that her mother turned over a lot of fast food restaurants but is thankfully sticking to one these days. She says that the government could make life easier for new immigrants if they would show them around Toronto and Canada upon arrival. They have felt the pain of their parents’ struggles, yet when I ask them if they feel Canadian they chime a resounding “yes!”

The cinder-block gymnasium is very big and like many school gymnasiums also stands-in as an auditorium. The large stage at the far end is currently doubling as a furniture storage space. There are six basketball nets and crisscrossing coloured lines painted on the weathered wooden floor.

I present my identification and am told to proceed to booth sixty-nine. There, one of the volunteers tells me that I am told to go back to the front table and fill out a registration form. The other volunteer at the booth argues that no, my name is on the registration list and that is sufficient. The first volunteer pulls out the handbook. As they discuss, I look around me. It is Noon and there are few voters, but those who are in the room are of varying ethnic backgrounds and ages. Some look tired, others looked rushed, but all take the time to smile. It is a peaceful room.

After voting I decide to sit at the entrance on a plastic folding chair and watch the comings and goings for a while. A young security guard pulls a chair up next to me. He is bored and wants to talk. I tell him that I am interested in the immigrant experience and that I am watching all of the different faces in this room. Today is a special day for Canada because the people have the opportunity to play a role in the direction of our government. And this room is a special place because there are so many new Canadians here that may be voting for the very first time. I must have piqued his interest because he tells me “Yeah, that Martin guy, what did he do, like steal a bunch of money?”

Sibthey Hasnain has a nickname that matches his disposition poetically: Sunny. He tells me he’s 21 but as his story unfolds he admits with a warm and bashful smile that he is only 20. He and his family moved to Canada from Pakistan on September 30, 2002. They came via Houston, Texas where they lived for about 8 months. In Pakistan his mother worked as a Civil Servant in the Department of Agriculture. His father worked in a semi-private cotton company in a similar position. Both were raised in middle-class families and both hold University degrees.

Currently Sunny’s mother assembles fan parts in a factory and his father drives a taxi. But both are trying to improve their situation: Dad’s studying to obtain a real-estate license and Mom’s learning about RRSP’s. They own their own house now and Sunny is planning for college – he wants to become a police officer. “I want to keep the community safe, unlike in Pakistan” where there is no confidence in peace.

Things are pretty good for the Hasnain’s now, but they weren’t always. Living from Visa to Visa in Texas was proving to be exhausting and they applied to emigrate to Canada. When they got the green light they had one month to relocate north. They sold everything they had accumulated in Texas and moved into a friend’s basement in Mississauga. “Those were the worst days,” Sunny says. “It was a cold first winter.” Then, when his father burned his hands in an accident, Sunny and his brother were forced to leave school and find work – Sunny clerked in a convenience store while his brother washed dishes. But the family pulled together and that’s how they managed to buy a house within three years time.

Sunny thinks that the best way to improve the lives of new immigrants to Canada is to allow them the opportunity to work in their discipline. “Professionals, with a degree, should work in their fields. We need doctors don’t we?” Although this is his main gripe about the transition, Sunny is grateful to be here. “I am happy to be Canadian, I feel Canadian. Life is assured here. You live peacefully, make your life, make your money, and you get to know more cultures. I like Canada because you can find your community.” When I ask Sunny to explain what he means by that he tells me “Because I am Muslim, there was a fear in people in the United States. Here I can talk to anyone, brown guy, white guy, anyone. The States is different. They call you Bin Laden to your face. Here, there is none of that.” He explains that there are some people in Canada who try to take the peace away, but there are people like that in every community.

St. James Town sees its share of crime and strife. Guns are not unknown here. Thankfully, what is known is that beside the worst in human nature you will find the best in human nature. When I leave the school, I spot Sunny smoking outside. He is wearing a black jacket emblazoned with the word SECURITY. He is bored and wants to chat some more, but I have to leave. I wonder if he’s grateful that he’s bored.

2006-02-03T16:08:00.000-05:00

Good day. May this be the glorious start of many thought-provoking and meaningful exchanges between like-minded visionaries, activists, poets and creatives!